B9308038

2th (2nd) draft of Assignment3: Types of singers in Taiwan

In fact (? inappropriate phrase), the singers in Taiwan have no absolutely (adj.) positions, because some singers attend(參與? take part in) drama performance or program directors (directs shows or programs). However, if we give a definition about (try to define) singers in Taiwan, we could divide them into three types of singers (delete), such as composer of singers (singers as well as composers, or singers with composing talents), rock and roll bands, and ability of (competent) singers who have great voice.

The composers of singers (please rewrite this part) got a better chance to succeed in entertainment circle (showbiz) recently, such as Jay Chou, Leehom Wang, David Tao, etc. Jay Chou is my favorite idle, because he has wrote (過去分詞) much fantastic melody about Chinese ancient history, family relationship and sentiments in R&B or Rap way(good description). He said composing music expressed his emotion and hopes. Besides, Jay is an omni-singer, includes (including) being a composer, a Rock and Roll singer, and having ability in singing (capable of singing). This is why I admire him. However (inappropriate use of conjunction), Jay spread(inappropriate word) his music all over the world. I think that to be a composer of singers (a composer or singer? ideas are not clear) must distribute (傳遞? deliver?) their thoughts of music to audiences and to enhance Taiwanese’s musical style (what do you mean by this?).

Rock and roll bands could promote morale in our life. They are power and vigor bands (how about using "They are bands with power and vigor"), and the famous ones are May Day and Shin Band. May Day is a group to pursue their music dream (do you mean "a group formed for pursuing their musical dream?), and they always use the dialects language (delete) to sing up what do you mean by this?) their enthusiasm. Shin Band is an extreme musical group to bellow at a high pitch, and try to shout their conviction (do you mean "which always sing at a high pitch and shout out loud for their beliefs?). Moreover, they usually/always perform in super rock (where?) to drive audiences to be (delete) crazy.

The ability of (delete) singers who are good at singing and have a great voice bring us pleasing (pleasant) music to our ear (delete), such us A-mei, Yanzi-Sun, and Jolin. A-mei has a strong voice to perform sonorous style. Yanzi has a typical voice to express moving (touching) song (plural). Jolin sings in her feeling (I don't quite understand this) and always touch my heart. All over (delete) of them are the perfect singers in the entertainment circle, and they will express the music by their voice to touch us (how about change this into "by their touching voice").

Consequently, singers in the world not only bring us sweet sounds to listen (? ideas are not clear, sounds like Chinese English) but also give us much impression about entertainments in different period of our life (I really do not understand this). Moreover, music is the way to preserve our culture and to show our style. Music is also a memory to record our Taiwanese’s life. (good comments!)


***From your writing, I really can see the efforts that you put into it. You are also good in observation and analysis. However, due to the structural and grammatical problems, the ideas are not well-presented. Besides, you also need to pay attention to the choice of words. The use of an inappropriate word in a sentence may make the sentence totally unintelligible (無法被暸解).